The Cosplay Graveyard

May 12, 11:39 am.

If a cosplan is formed but is never worn to a convention and there are no selfies, did it still happen? This certain phenomenon actually occurs quite often in the cosplay world, where there are are limited number of conventions and and unlimited number of plans that one could make. These ideas, unfortunately, go to the cosplay graveyard.

Today’s post is dedicated to all my costumes in the cosplay graveyard… the plans that were once conceived with enthusiasm but will probably never happen.

RIP My Cosplans 1/10

There are 4 kinds of cosplayers in the world. The first purchases all their cosplays from Taobao. If the costume does not exist, they commission it. These cosplays have an infinite amount of money and an infinite amount of costumes. They often have OnlyFans and a crap-ton of lingerie. These cosplayers are the ones we all know about. Respect these people.

The second kind of cosplayer makes all their costumes. They’re either a fashion major or a perfectionist. They make their cosplays from scratch because they are dedicated to their craft, and quite honestly, the purchased costumes just aren’t accurate enough. These cosplayers have a very dedicated fanbase who follow them for the aesthetic and the accuracy. These cosplayers should also be respected.

The third kind of cosplayer is the cosplay mom. They are almost always on time, they are adorable. They are always feeding everyone. They are always going above and beyond to make sure everyone has a good time. Respect the mom.

And then there’s me.

The fourth kind of cosplayer makes over 9000 cosplans but only follows through on 3. This cosplayer frequently purchases food and bubble tea because they like the social aspect of cosplay, but are extremely drained after they finish socializing. Half finished costumes lay everywhere, their seams unfinished. Yet, they continue to purchase more materials to make themselves feel more productive, when in reality, they are only fooling themselves. These cosplayers would be respected if they just put all their effort into one cosplay, but no. They have very bad self-control and end up making 1/5 of 5 cosplays. They believe that inaccuracy is a design choice. They often get a lot of help from friends and make promises they can’t keep because they lose interest too quickly from one series to the next.

This particular breed of cosplayer may have once found themselves in a situation where they were late for a shoot. Instead of flaking, they grossly overestimate their ambition, call a $50 Uber to go to the next city over, while frantically putting on half a face of makeup. Unfortunately, the shoot has already begun, but it’s okay because the other cosplayers are taking solo pics. The cosplayer changes into their costume only to realize that they forgot their wig at home, and it’s too late to go get it. So they sulk in the corner, eating chips passive aggressively while making some salty comments, adding bitterness and sourness to the atmosphere.

Now I’m not saying that this happened specifically to me, but that might actually kinda be exactly what I’m saying.

Wanna hear another story about this cosplayer? I mean, me?

This particular breed of cosplayer sometimes joins a group shoot but ends up making their cosplay instead of purchasing it. Unfortunately, they don’t like to put in too much effort and end up working on their cosplay as they rush to their shoot, only to realize that their skirt is so ugly that they have to be consistently be placed in the middle to hide the abomination. This cosplayer vows to never make another Love Live design again.

But at least the pics came out good! Heckin’ bless you guys.

From left to right, top to bottom, on the first image: Eiloria, Tuna, Me, Miss Rushka, Rinrin, and Mari.

I miss these days.

Thank you everybody who attended this shoot and was nice to me… I am forever in your debt. But especially Miss Rushka for lending me her skirt and wings… and Tuna for lending me your prop ;w; And of course, my photographer for being so confident.

So the silver lining here is that if you are the worst cosplayer but have the best friends and photographer, they can carry you to cosfame!

Not that I want cosfame or anything, I just want to share the 3/9000 costumes I make every year.

Toodles, Nyanners.

I will see ya later.

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